In Another Life
by BlackArrow317
Summary: A collection of AU one shots featuring your favorite profilers as anything but. Includes AU tropes and prompt fulfillments.
1. The One Where They're Doctors

"**I know who I WAS when I got up this morning, but I think I must have been changed several times since then."  
><strong>― **Lewis Carroll**

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><p>Each installment may or may not include all characters, past and present. It will just depend on the plot and what works best for it. I have a list of several different AUs in mind for this and for the first few chapters I'll be pulling from those, but after that I might start fulfilling prompt requests from readers if I get some that I think I can work with (I'll try my best to fulfill whatever ones I get, within reason) so feel free to start sending me any you'd be interested in seeing. Like I said, it can be all characters or some characters, whether they're still on the show or not. I'm not big on shipping – I stick primarily to canon in this fandom – but if I feel like I can write a pairing requested in a prompt well enough, then I'll try my hand at it. If not, I might modify the prompt if possible so that I can still give you at least some of what you want. You can send requests via reviews and PMs or you can send them to me in my ask box on tumblr (link in my bio) – I have anon turned on, so you don't need to have a tumblr account to send them to me there if you want to do that. Anyway, that's about it for now. Thank you for your interest in this endeavor of mine and I hope you enjoy it!<p>

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><p><strong>The One Where They're Doctors<strong>

"Doctor! I need a doctor!" a middle-aged woman wailed from her ER bed, disturbing the patients around her. Hotch sighed and hurried over.

"My name is Dr. Aaron Hotchner. What seems to be the problem, ma'am?"

The woman flashed him a look he would have easily classified as a pout had it come from his eight-year-old son.

"My arm hurts." She clutched the offending limb, providing no further explanation.

"Has a nurse been by to help you since you were brought here?" Hotch asked.

"I need a doctor," she stated indignantly, ignoring his question.

He pressed his lips into a tight line, biting back another sigh. Hers was clearly a non-emergent case, and he really didn't have time for it at the moment. The nurses knew what they were doing and she would be taken care of in due time.

He was almost relieved when he heard his name being called from the ambulance bay.

"Hotch!" Derek Morgan called, already wheeling a gurney toward the elevator. "Freeway pileup comin' in. I could use a little help here."

Hotch lifted a hand in acknowledgment and turned to a passing nurse, waving her over.

He spoke to her in a low voice. "Seaver, could you help this woman, please? I don't think it's as bad as she's suggesting, but I'd like you to keep an eye on her."

Ashley smiled and nodded. "Of course."

"Thanks." Hotch patted her shoulder and jogged off towards the ambulance bay to meet the paramedics coming in with another accident victim.

The patient, a woman in her early twenties, had suffered abdominal trauma in the crash and was in need of emergency reparative surgery. Hotch instructed the nurses helping him to take her up to the OR and prep her. He got another doctor to take care of the other incoming patients and then headed to the elevator.

His secretary, Jordan Todd, flagged him down on his way. "Chief Hotchner, you have a call from HR. They need to talk to you."

Hotch nodded, hitting the up button to summon the elevator. "Tell them I'll call back as soon as I'm done with this surgery," he told her as the doors in front of him opened with a _ding_. He stepped inside and thanked his secretary as the steel doors slid shut between them.

A few hours later, he stepped back into his office and took a moment to rest in his desk chair before picking up the phone. The woman from HR was already waiting on the other end.

"Erin?" he said in lieu of greeting. "What is it? The ER is pretty busy right now and I don't have a lot of time."

"Dr. Hotchner, have you forgotten?" Erin Strauss asked. "Your new surgeon is arriving in, well…" there was a pause. "About fifteen minutes, actually."

Hotch sighed. "Right. Of course." He flicked through the files on his desk, looking for the new doctor's personnel file to no avail. He sighed again. "Sorry, um… Thank you, Erin. I'll let you know how the first meeting goes." He hung up without waiting for a reply and leaned back in his chair.

Quantico Medical Center had recently lost one of its surgeons, Dr. Gideon, to retirement and he'd had to hire someone else to fill his place. Gideon had been a good friend and a good doctor and they would miss him, but Hotch had to admit it would be good to have some new blood around the hospital that wasn't in the form of wet-behind-the ears interns.

A knock at his office door five minutes later made him sit forward in surprise. Jordan stood in the doorway, an apologetic smile on her face. "The new doctor is here," she told him.

"Thanks, Jordan. Send her in."

A moment later, the new plastic surgeon stepped tentatively into his office, her short brunette curls bouncing as she moved. She offered him a smile and her hand as he rose to greet her.

"Dr. Callahan? Hi, I'm Dr. Aaron Hotchner, Chief of Surgery. It's nice to finally meet you in person," he said, shaking her hand.

"Likewise," Kate replied.

"Have a seat." Hotch gestured to the chair in front of his desk as he settled back into his own.

"Thanks."

After exchanging perfunctory pleasantries, they spent several minutes discussing the practical aspects of her new position, taking care of some final paperwork, and waiting for her freshly printed ID badge and embroidered lab coat to be delivered from Human Resources.

Finally, Hotch locked his fingers together on the surface of his desk and said, "QMC is a great hospital and I think you'll fit in well here, Dr. Callahan."

"Please, call me Kate," she said, slipping into her white coat and pinning her badge to the left breast pocket.

"A lot of the other doctors here – my friends – call me Hotch. You're welcome to, as well," he offered. He stepped out from behind his desk and walked to the doorway. "Your official first day isn't until tomorrow, but I'd like to show you around, if you have the time. Introduce you to some of the other doctors you'll be working with here."

Kate followed after him with a smile. "Of course. That would be great."

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><p>He began by leading her down the open staircase near his office and across the lobby to the ER. The first person they ran into was brunette woman in her late forties hunched over a clipboard at the nurse's station. Hotch motioned Kate over and waved to get the other woman's attention.<p>

He gestured between the two of them as he made introductions. "Kate, this is Dr. Alex Blake, an ENT specialist who works a few floors up but sometimes acts as my saving grace and helps with consults in the ER. Dr. Blake, this is our new plastic surgeon, Dr. Kate Callahan."

Blake smiled warmly and proffered her hand. "It's nice to meet you, Dr. Callahan."

"Nice to meet you, too, Dr. Blake," Kate responded, taking her hand.

Blake swiped the clipboard off the counter and held it against her chest. "I'd love to talk longer, but I really have to be going. I have another consult in five minutes. Our paths will probably end up crossing more than once, though, so I'm sure I'll see you around soon enough. Really nice meeting you, Dr. Callahan," she said, already turning to leave. "See you later, Hotch," she called over shoulder, then disappeared around a corner.

Hotch spent the following minutes showing her the ins and outs of the ER, introducing her to a couple of nurses – Ashley Seaver and Grant Anderson, if Kate remembered correctly – before guiding her back over to the ER nurse's station, where a blonde woman who wasn't there earlier now sat typing away at the computer.

"Dr. Callahan, I'd like you to meet our Chief Nurse, Penelope Garcia."

Another male voice cut in from behind them. "Extraordinary woman. We'd all be lost without her." Derek Morgan tapped the counter as he sidled up to it, grinning at Penelope as he did so.

"And this is Dr. Derek Morgan, trauma surgeon," Hotch added, trying and failing to suppress a smile at their usual antics. "Guys, this is Dr. Kate Callahan, the new plastic surgeon I mentioned at the meeting the other day."

Kate shook both their hands. "Hi. It's nice to meet the two of you," she said. "You can call me Kate."

"Pleasure's all ours, Kate," Derek replied. "Welcome to Quantico Medical."

"You'll love it here," Penelope insisted. "It's a great place to work. Not to mention the great people you get to work with." She winked at Morgan, who chuckled quietly in response before using his hands to push away from the counter between them.

"Well, I should probably get back to work," he said on a sigh. "We had a multicar pileup come in this morning and I've got a couple of patients to check up on. How's yours doing, Hotch?"

"She lost her spleen but she'll be okay," replied Hotch.

Morgan shoved his hands into the pockets of his scrub pants and nodded. "Good." He turned to Kate and tipped his head. "I'll see you around, Callahan. Later, Penelope." And then he left, sneakers squeaking on the linoleum as he took off down a side hallway.

"Goodbye, my sweet!" Penelope called after him. Her tone made Kate chuckle.

When Morgan was gone, Hotch turned to Penelope and asked, "Garcia, I've been meaning to ask – how is the new patient admission program working?"

Penelope grinned, stroking the edge of her computer monitor reverently. "Beautifully. I love it when you authorize system upgrades. It makes me all tingly inside."

Hotch rolled his eyes, but the corner of his mouth quirked upward, softening his expression a little. "Glad to hear it. Let me know if you run into any problems. This is supposed to increase our efficiency. I don't want it doing the opposite."

Garcia bobbed her head. "Will do, sir."

"Thanks, Garcia. We should get going." He turned to Kate. "There are still a few more areas of the hospital and some other doctors I'd like to introduce you to before you go."

"Ooh, the grand tour. Who else have you met so far?" Penelope asked her eagerly.

"Just Dr. Blake," Kate replied.

"Oh, then you should definitely keep moving. Lots to see." Penelope waved her hands in a shooing gesture. "Have fun! It was nice to meet you, Dr. Callahan."

Kate smiled and gave a little wave as she followed Hotch out of the ER. He led her down the hallway Morgan had exited through earlier and stopped them at the elevator on the far end of it, hitting the button to take them upstairs.

"I want to show you around the OR floor and the ICU," Hotch said. They waited for a pair of orderlies to clear out of the elevator before stepping on. "We'll probably run into a few of the other doctors while we're up there, too."

"This is a great hospital," Kate commented as they strolled off the elevator and over to the hallway containing the operating rooms. "It's a lot more up to date than the last place I worked. My boss was too stuck in the past. Didn't want us to become dependent on the 'ridiculous newfangled technology,'" she said, her voice taking on a deeper and slightly mocking tone at the end. "There were several reasons why I was ready for a change, but that was one of the big ones. Don't get me wrong, I'm fine with old-fashioned methods when the situation calls for them, but there's a reason new ones are being developed, y'know?"

Hotch nodded, tucking his hands into the pockets of his slacks. "I know what you mean. I always run into one or two doctors like that whenever I attend conferences. They can be frustrating to deal with."

"Hey, Hotch!" a voice behind them called out, interrupting. Kate and Hotch turned to see an older man exiting one of the ORs, pulling a red scrub cap away from his salt and pepper hair. "I'm glad I ran into you. Got a minute?"

"Sure, Dave, no problem." He gestured to Kate. "First, let me introduce you to Dr. Kate Callahan, our new plastic surgeon. Kate, this is Dr. David Rossi, our head of cardio."

Rossi held out a hand and gave Kate's a firm shake. "Great to meet you Dr. Callahan. Welcome."

Kate smiled. "Likewise, Dr. Rossi." She folded her hands behind her back and nodded toward Hotch. "You sounded like you were in a hurry. Please, don't delay yourself on my account."

"Right, thank you." He turned to Hotch and the pair began conversing about funding and a grant that they had clearly been discussing before this moment.

While they spoke, Kate wandered around the hall, peering into a few different rooms, trying to get a feel for her new place of employment. About ten minutes later, Hotch rejoined her just as she was stepping away from a scrub room and she turned to watch as Dr. Rossi took off down the hallway in the opposite direction, seeming noticeably pleased with whatever Hotch had told him.

"Sorry about that," Hotch apologized. He started leading her down the OR hallway again and around the corner into what appeared to be a back corridor leading to the ICU.

"It's no problem, really. I'm in no rush," Kate said.

They pushed through a set of heavy double doors marked Staff Only and came out near one of the ICU nurse's stations. One male and one female nurse sat behind it, both sorting through large stacks of patient files. A doctor in a sweater vest and corduroys stood back there as well, frowning down at the clipboard in his hand. The other hand fiddled with a pen down by his waist. Kate thought he looked a little young to be an attending surgeon, but maybe he just had boyish features.

Hotch stopped them just past the counter and got the young doctor's attention. To Kate's surprise – though she hid it well – he introduced the man as Dr. Spencer Reid, their top neurosurgeon. She'd heard of him before, through medical journals and shoptalk, and knew he was supposed to be some kind of genius or prodigy, a veritable Doogie Howser. She had forgotten that Dr. Reid worked at QMC.

He didn't shake her hand like all the others had, but she wasn't too put off by it. In her profession, she'd come across a lot of people who preferred not to shake hands.

They only had a few minutes to chat before Reid needed to leave for the surgery he had been preparing for with the clipboard when they'd walked in. He mentioned wanting to meet another day for lunch in the cafeteria so they could talk more and then he was rushing off to the nearest elevator.

"Everyone's in a hurry today," Hotch said, his voice sounding apologetic again. "You'll get to know everyone better after a while."

"I totally understand," Kate assured. "Honestly, this is more of an introduction than I expected to get. It's great. Really."

Hotch didn't normally put this much effort into showing new doctors around – most came in the form of interns anyway and it wasn't really his job to show them around, it was the residents' – but he had happened to be having a slow day today and he figured an hour spent away from his paperwork would also do his brain some good.

They toured the ICU for a bit after that, with Hotch giving her a basic rundown of the goings on and SOPs of the hospital. They ran into a number of nurses and orderlies along the way, some of whom Hotch introduced, but most were too busy and he didn't want to interrupt. Using the stairs this time, they went higher up in the hospital to visit some of the other wards.

The first one they came to was the pediatric floor. The bright colors and cheerful paintings and cute plush toys everywhere Kate looked were a stark contrast to the white sterility of the last two floors she'd visited and it instantly made her smile. The mental and emotional wellbeing of the kids here was obviously just as highly valued as the physical wellbeing. She could imagine the doctors and nurses there doing to everything in their power to brighten the young patients' spirits when necessary.

It wasn't long before they ran into two more doctors. The two women sat in chairs situated in a small alcove beside shelves of spare medical supplies, seemingly taking a break. They were each gripping a paper cup filled with coffee, taking sips of it in between innocuous chatter. When they noticed Hotch and Kate approaching, they stood up.

"Hotch," the brunette greeted brightly. The blonde next to her just smiled.

Hotch nodded at them. The man wasn't much of a smiler, Kate mused.

"JJ, Emily. This is our new head of plastics, Dr. Kate Callahan," he said.

Kate reached out a hand to shake both of theirs as they introduced themselves.

"Hi, I'm Dr. Emily Prentiss, head of ortho," the brunette smiled. She grasped Kate's hand in a strong grip and pumped it twice before letting go.

The blonde, whose white coat was adorned with colorful little butterfly patches stitched to the lapels, switched her coffee to her left hand and held out her right to shake. Her introduction was cut off by a voice over the intercom calling for a Dr. Greenaway to please hurry to a room up in labor and delivery. Once it was done, the blonde doctor chuckled and tried again.

"Dr. Jennifer Jareau, head peds surgeon," she stated. Her smile was warm and friendly and oddly comforting, and Kate could tell without even seeing her work that this woman was great at her job. "Call me JJ," she offered. "Everyone does."

Unlike the other doctors, Emily and JJ didn't have any pressing matters to attend to at the moment, so Kate spent several minutes talking and getting to know them while Hotch disappeared briefly to deal with a crisis on another floor. While they waited for him to return, JJ led them around the pediatric floor, introducing Kate to a few more nurses and recruiting her and Emily to help cheer up some of the ward's regulars.

Emily was paged to the ER just as Hotch returned, so they all said their goodbyes and parted ways. After another ten minutes touring the hospital, Hotch finally showed Kate to her new office.

"I'll leave you to settle in some," he told her, heading back toward the door. "See you tomorrow, Dr. Callahan."

"Bye. And thanks for the tour!" she called as he walked away. His only response was a wave of his hand as his white coat billowed in his wake.

Once she could no longer see him, Kate settled down into the surprisingly comfortable ergonomic chair behind her new desk and propped her feet up. Her box of office supplies was still sitting by her front door at home, waiting to be brought in tomorrow, so she didn't have so much as a pen to 'settle in' with, but she wanted to take a moment to relax and get acquainted with the small space before she left.

Five minutes later, she was locking the door with the keys Hotch had given her and trekking back down the hallway to the elevator. I think I'm going to like it here, she thought to herself.

And she did.

Quantico Medical Center turned out to be a great fit for her, and she made fast friends with many of the people she'd met that day. Hotch, their chief and general surgeon who cared more than he liked to let on. Morgan, the trauma surgeon who never broke despite all he had seen and experienced. Emily, the orthopedic surgeon who was the strongest of all of them. Rossi, the cardiothoracic surgeon with the not so secretly large heart. Reid, the neurosurgeon with the incredible brain. JJ, the pediatric surgeon whose sensitive and caring nature supported more than just her young patients. Penelope, who cheered them on through thick and thin and made sure to remind them why they did what they did.

In her years there, she somehow learned to value life even more greatly when she and so many of her colleagues managed to find themselves in almost as many life-threatening situations as their patients. How a group of medical professionals so often found themselves in peril, Kate was sure she would never know. She witnessed friends and families grow and change. She watched the hospital transform and adapt to countless changes. They lost a lot of lives and they saved a lot more.

And they did it all together. Just like a family.


	2. The One Where They're Patients

So I recently watched the pilot for Red Band Society (I enjoyed it a lot and would recommend it – also the Catalan, or the Spanish-dubbed, original series that the new FOX show is based off of called Polseres vermelles/Pulseras rojas, if you speak either of those languages) and I thought since I've done an AU where they're doctors, it might be interesting to do one where they are all patients in the children's ward of a hospital. Somewhat reminiscent of the show(s) since that's what inspired me to write this. Now without further ado…

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><p><strong>Patient AU<strong>

"Hi, JJ!"

"Hey, Spence." Jennifer Jareau smiled as she wheeled herself into her friend's room. She pulled to a stop at the foot of his bed and smirked at the three empty Jell-O cups sitting on his tray table.

At her look, Spencer grinned sheepishly. "I told Nurse Seaver that it was the only thing I could keep down. But mostly I just really love Jell-O," he explained. Not that he needed to. JJ remembered clearly the time she woke up after a surgery to find him sitting vigilantly at her bedside with her red Jell-O cup half eaten and poorly concealed behind his back.

JJ chuckled. "At this point, I think Ashley is just indulging you, Spence. I'll bet she sees right through your lies."

"It wasn't entirely a lie!" he defended.

"Sure," she teased, and rolled back towards the door. "Derek snuck in a pizza and we're gonna go sit with Rossi and eat it before the nurses catch us. Wanna come?"

Spencer nodded eagerly and slipped out of bed. He adjusted his blue flannel pajamas that the others always joked made him look like a nerdy middle-aged professor and moved to stand behind JJ's wheelchair.

"Hop on," she told time. He gripped the handlebars on the back of the chair and propped his feet on the crisscrossing metal beneath the seat before giving her the okay, then she pushed off down the hallway.

This was common practice for the two of them. Spencer Reid was a twelve-year-old with leukemia who weighed sixty-five pounds soaking wet and JJ claimed that since she could no longer play soccer with only one leg, she was forced to stay active in other ways. Which, among other things, led to her chauffeuring the boy around when they were both having good days, so he wouldn't get tired walking the massive halls of the hospital and she would have talkative company to distract her from the occasionally depressing thoughts of a legless fourteen-year-old with metastatic osteosarcoma. Even if she didn't understand half of the things the little genius talked about.

Sitting with Rossi was another thing many of the regulars in the Quantico Memorial Hospital Children's Ward often did. At seventeen, David Rossi was the oldest of the Ward's patients, but he'd been there longer than most, since the day a car accident put him into a coma at thirteen.

His mother was always coming by to bring him books, and a decent stack of them usually rested on the nightstand beside his bed. Some days she would stay and read aloud to him for hours from one of the uncomfortable hospital chairs found in every room, lobby, and hallway. Other days she would stop by only long enough to drop off a book or two before departing, too distraught by her son's resemblance to the father who died in the accident to stay longer. On those days, Spencer would take it upon himself to curl his skinny body into the chair by Dave's bedside and read books they all knew had memorized anyway, while the rest of them sat around with lunch or portable IV tubes and just listened.

Today, Derek Morgan, sixteen-year-old Ward-regular with cystic fibrosis, had somehow managed to persuade his older sister into sneaking in a pizza for him and his friends – a rare delicacy for all of them. They had all convinced themselves that the scent of his favorite food would also one day wake their friend from his coma. Or at least, that was the excuse they always gave the nurses whenever they inevitably got caught with the delicious contraband.

Spencer was starting to slouch a little by the time he and JJ got to Rossi's room, and he dropped gratefully onto the vinyl-covered cushion of the chair when JJ pulled up next to it. Derek was the last to arrive, coming in right behind them with the pizza box ineffectively hidden beneath a spare hospital gown tucked under his arm. He tugged playfully on JJ's purple beanie cap as he passed and then hopped up to sit cross-legged on the end of Rossi's bed, whipping the gown off the box with a flourish and prying it open.

Penelope Garcia drew her chair closer and produced a roll of paper towels stolen from the doctor's lounge, passing them around as Derek doled out pizza slices. A fifteen-year-old with a complicated heart condition, Garcia had been in and out of the ER several times in the last year and a half, often having to stay in the ward for days or weeks afterward depending on how closely her condition needed to be monitored following each treatment or surgery. But after she met Derek and the rest of her friends a few weeks in, she didn't really mind the stays as much.

The last two members of their little group sat on the edge of the empty bed to Rossi's left.

Aaron Hotchner was soon to be the second seventeen-year-old living in the Ward. Like JJ, he was afflicted by osteosarcoma, but his had begun in his right radius (he'd never been more grateful to be left-handed). They'd amputated the limb from the elbow down. Unfortunately, the doctors had soon after discovered metastases already present throughout his torso. So now he was in the Ward for the long haul, fighting further spread and hoping for his treatment to work.

Next to him sat Emily Prentiss, sixteen-year-old daughter of an ambassador who barely visited. She was a resident of the Eating Disorders Clinic, an offshoot of the Children's Ward, where they'd been treating her for anorexia for almost a year, and Emily had just been happy that at least now she could remain in one place for longer than a few months.

Their group was an amalgam of kids who probably never would have befriended or even met one another outside the sterile walls of QMH, but there in the Ward, the six of them (plus Rossi) had somehow formed a close-knit group whose friendship every staff member in the Children's Ward – from the custodians to the surgeons – recognized fondly, albeit with occasional exasperation.

Although he knew she wouldn't eat much of it, if any, Derek handed Emily a slice of the steaming pizza. She smiled in thanks and peeled off a pepperoni to nibble on, then set the rest aside.

"Did Dr. Gideon authorize this meal?" Spencer asked, delicately picking the pepperoni slices off his pizza.

Derek chuckled as he swallowed a large mouthful. "You know the answer to that, Pretty Boy."

Smiling and shrugging, Spencer replied, "Just thought I'd ask."

"Then he just has you to blame if he gets sick later," JJ teased Derek, who flung a pepperoni slice that she easily dodged before tossing one back in retaliation.

"Children, please," said Penelope, swiping the pizza box off Derek's lap before it toppled to the ground. "Preserve the pepperoni."

"Otherwise they'll really take away our privileges," joked Hotch. He used his foot to roll his portable IV pole closer to the bed and further from the horseplay as he took a small bite of his pizza. His stomach wasn't really in it today, but his doctor has told him to try to eat if and when he could, and the pizza was better than any of the mushy microwave food he would have gotten back in his room.

"This is so good," Penelope moaned. "I'm sick of heart healthy foods and hospital sludge. One slice won't kill me, right?"

"Probably not," Emily responded dryly, wiping her greasy fingers off on her baggy sweatpants. "Then again, I'm no doctor."

JJ snorted in amusement. Turning her head, she asked, "Hey, Spence, how's your unauthorized pizza?"

"Satisfying, but I'd rather have more Jell-O." Spencer set his half-eaten pizza aside and pulled a book off the stack on the table. "Can I read to Dave now?"

"Go for it," Hotch nodded. "What book is it today?"

Spencer turned the cover so the others could see it. "_Murder on the Orient Express_."

Derek and JJ finished off the pizza while he read. Hotch and Emily relaxed back on the extra bed and Penelope propped her feet on the edge of Rossi's as they all spitballed theories and tried to figure out who the murderer was.

Several chapters in, the door swung open and interrupted them.

"Of course this is where you all are," Nurse Greenaway sighed, resting a hand on her jutted hip. She raised an eyebrow. "You _do_ know you have class, don't you?"

Derek grinned and smoothed back his hair, which was comically too short for such a gesture. "Why, yes I do, thank you."

Elle rolled her eyes and stepped forward to snatch the empty pizza box from him, tossing it in the trashcan by the door. "School. Education. Come on, you guys, let's go."

"You know, technically we're already doing something educational," Hotch said. Emily nodded and gestured to the book in Spencer's hands.

Elle swung an index finger towards the doorway. "Get moving," she ordered, though there was a hint of amusement in her tone that belied the sternness.

True to form, Hotch complied first, sliding off the bed and rolling his IV pole along with him, out the door and down the hallway. Emily followed grudgingly and tugged Penelope out of her chair to join her as she passed by. At another raised eyebrow from Elle, Derek hopped up and grabbed the book from Spencer, tossing it onto the nightstand.

"Come on, Pretty Boy. We'll have to finish the book later."

They trailed Nurse Greenaway out of Rossi's room as she pushed JJ's chair down the hall in the direction of the classroom.

"What's the point of wasting our time in these boring classes if we're probably just going to die young anyway?" JJ mumbled, arms crossed over her chest.

Derek nodded. "What she said."

"Learning is fun," Spencer exclaimed, practically skipping ahead of them through the classroom door.

Elle sighed and stopped JJ's wheelchair just before the entrance. She gave the two kids a stern look. "Listen, guys," she said, resting either hand on Derek and JJ's shoulders. Her features softened. "I choose to believe that all of you have a lot of life left to live. That you are going to have great futures. But the only way to ensure that is to stay in school. So make an effort. Prove to me that you guys are as smart as I think you are and strengthen your minds." She patted their shoulders and dropped her arms, stepping back. "Think of it as an optimistic investment for your future. Or don't. Either way, you still have to go to class."

The subsequent eye rolls were softened by the small smiles on Derek and JJ's faces. She held the door for them as Derek sauntered in and grabbed a seat in the back and JJ wheeled herself to an open area at Emily and Penelope's table. As the door swung closed, Nurse Greenaway couldn't help but chuckle at the sound of the instructor's sarcastic greeting.

"Nice of you to join us. Let's get back to the reading, shall we?"


	3. The One Where They Meet In A Chat Room

I'm not really sure I like how this turned out but I'm posting it anyway. I probably won't update again for a while because I'm going back to school soon. Thanks for reading!

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><p><em><strong>Chat Room AU<strong>_

**BabyGirl37 has entered the chat room.**

**BabyGirl37:** Hey guys!

**DrPrettyBoy:** Hi, BG.

**ChocolateThunder:** hey BabyGirl. what's up?

**BabyGirl37:** Just sitting down with some popcorn. Ready for the weekly catch-up with my favorite people!

**AuthorItaliano:** How can you call us your favorite people when we've never met in person?

**SergiosGirl:** lighten up, Author. we've known each other long enough to consider us all good friends, don't you think?

**HotchMan:** I like to think so.

**DrPrettyBoy:** Many people consider a celebrity to be among their favorite people, despite never having met them in person and the celebrity being completely unaware of their existence. Also by definition, friendship is merely a friendly association between two or more people. The aspect of physical interaction is common but not a necessary precursor to friendship, technically speaking.

**ChocolateThunder:** thanks for that PrettyBoy

**AuthorItaliano:** Okay okay I get your point.

**BabyGirl37:** So are we friends again?

**AuthorItaliano:** Never stopped ;)

**BabyGirl37:** Yay!

**SergiosGirl:** you know, we all live pretty close. what are the odds of one us having run into someone else here at one point in our lives?

**SergiosGirl:** …that was rhetorical, PrettyBoy.

**DrPrettyBoy:** But I can answer that.

**ChocolateThunder:** we know

**PennsylvaniaPetite has entered the chat room.**

**PennsylvaniaPetite:** Sorry I'm late! What did I miss?

**HotchMan:** Not much, you're good.

**AuthorItaliano:** We were just discussing how we're all such good friends.

**SergiosGirl:** *rolls eyes*

**HotchMan:** Okay so now that everyone is here, where did we leave off last week?

**DrPrettyBoy:** We were discussing the psychopathology of the Green River Killer before Author and Petite both had to leave.

**BabyGirl37:** Ugh. Let's talk about something less creepy this time.

**ChocolateThunder:** like what BabyGirl?

**BabyGirl37:** idk…

**DrPrettyBoy:** But we're here primarily to chat about our collaborative crime blog. I think we would be hard pressed to find something less disturbing to discuss while still remaining on topic. We do have articles to finish…

**PennsylvaniaPetite:** Oh hey DrPrettyBoy, how did your visit with your mom go?

**DrPrettyBoy:** It went really well, thanks for asking. She was in a good state of mind for the whole visit and we had a riveting discussion on 17th century literature.

**SergiosGirl:** 'riveting'

**ChocolateThunder:** so glad i convinced you to change your screen name, PrettyBoy. much better than your old one.

**DrPrettyBoy:** I only did it because you all ganged up on me. I still don't understand why you call me that. You have never seen what I look like, so a nickname referring to my appearance doesn't make any sense.

**ChocolateThunder:** i don't have to see you to know the name fits

**Sergio'sGirl:** why don't we just post pictures of ourselves already? we've been talking and working together for almost two years now

**DrPrettyBoy:** One year, 317 days.

**BabyGirl37:** Because that would ruin the mystery! Where has your sense of adventure gone, SergiosGirl?

**SergiosGirl:** you call not knowing your friends of two years' real names and faces 'adventure'? you must not get out much, BG

**DrPrettyBoy:** Only one year, 317 days.

**SergiosGirl:** thanks, Dr.

**PennsylvaniaPetite:** Haha. She's just rounding, DrPrettyBoy.

**AuthorItaliano:** We're getting nowhere tonight. What happened to our usual intellectual discussions? Like DrPrettyBoy said, we have entries to finish.

**HotchMan:** SergiosGirl has a point though. Are we ever going to see each other outside of the chatbox one day?

**ChocolateThunder:** i don't know… do we want to? BabyGirl's right, the mystery of it all is kinda cool

**PennsylvaniaPetite:** You know BabyGirl37 could probably find out all of our deepest darkest secrets just by hacking our accounts here and finding our real names.

**BabyGirl37:** But I haven't!

**SergiosGirl:** you've considered it though. admit it.

**BabyGirl37:** …maybe

**HotchMan:** How close have you gotten?

**BabyGirl37:** Ummm…

**PennsylvaniaPetite:** Spill

**BabyGirl37:** Okay okay. I got all the way into ChocolateThunder's account but I stopped myself before I looked at any of the information. The guilt was too overwhelming.

**ChocolateThunder:** *gasp*

**AuthorItaliano:** Now why don't I believe that to be the whole truth?

**BabyGirl37: **It is! I swear!

**AuthorItaliano:** Just teasing you, BG.

**DrPrettyBoy:** At this point, I think we all know enough about each other that a simple Google search would reveal the identities of at least half of the members in this group.

**PennsylvaniaPetite:** He's probably right. I bet it wouldn't be too hard to find DrPrettyBoy and AuthorItaliano at least.

**SergiosGirl:** me too, since you all know my mother is an ambassador.

**HotchMan:** One of these days BabyGirl is going to give in to her hacking urges and all will be revealed.

**PennsylvaniaPetite:** One day soon. I don't believe someone like BG can stand the mystery for much longer ;)

**ChocolateThunder:** especially now that we've brought it up

**PennsylvaniaPetite:** Oops. My son just woke up. Brb.

**SergiosGirl:** hey PrettyBoy, got any statistics and probabilities on when we'll find out who everyone is?

**DrPrettyBoy:** That's not really something that can be determined mathematically.

**ChocolateThunder:** you're letting us down man

**DrPrettyBoy:** What? It's true. Something like that is based on subjective decisions that would be nearly impossible to model with a mathematical construct.

**PennsylvaniaPetite:** Okay I'm back. Crisis averted.

**HotchMan:** All right people, let's get back on track then, shall we? I know we just write this blog for fun in our spare time, but we have an obligation to our readers now.

**AuthorItaliano:** Finally

**SergiosGirl:** I'd really like to finish that discussion on the GRK. I think it was leading somewhere interesting.

**BabyGirl37:** *sigh* Okay fine. I'll bring up those articles we were referencing, just give me a sec. Oh btw I was playing around with a new layout for the blog and I think it turned out pretty cool. I'll post a link to a sample version. Let me know what you guys think.

**PennsylvaniaPetite:** So about Ridgway's MO…


End file.
